Assassin Arideal
by Wednesday Morning
Summary: Hello, this is one of those "fall into middle-earth" things. I'm trying really hard to keep it from being a Mary Sue romance. This is my first fic, but I'm not delicate, flame me if you wish, I need a good laugh.
1. Bloody Barbie

Hello children! This is my first Fanfic I actually intend to finish. I'll try my best to keep this from being a Mary Sue, if it is, flame me.  
  
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I crouched behind some trashcans in front of a rather large and gaudy house. I wrapped my green trench coat around me and blew on my gloved hands trying to ward off the cold. I fingered my stiletto blade with my name carved into the blade. I traced each of the letters, A-R-I-D-E-A-L, lovingly as a taxi came around a corner. Out of it stepped my target, a tall thin blonde woman. A Barbie doll. I hate Barbie's; they're too perfect.  
  
Call me jealous but their perfection irks me. I'm not your usual she-elf, I'm strong and smart enough to know when to say 'no' to one more shot-glass of vodka, but I'm not like other elves. Normal she-elves are tall and thin and drop-dead gorgeous, I'm a bit on the short side, my nose is what you'd call 'strong', my eyes are mud colored, I keep my red-brown hair chin length, and I'm solid looking because of what I have to do to keep my job. I'm not what you'd call beautiful, but I don't care, or at least I try not to.  
  
Anyway, back to the Barbie. Her high heels clicked on the marble veranda of the house, I stood up and walked silently into the shadows by the front steps, I checked to see if there were any witnesses, there weren't any. I glanced at my watch, 2:30 am. A sudden smell bombarded my senses, a heavy stench that came from the Barbie. I recognized it immediately, Marijuana. I sneezed, the Barbie whipped around and stared in my direction, but she obviously didn't see me because she turned around and started to unlock the front door. I then raised my knife high and sent it spinning into her neck. I hissed a "Yes!" under my breath as she made an odd choking noise and fell to the ground.  
  
I darted up the stairs and wrenched my beloved knife from her throat, right on target. I pulled a cloth from my coat and mopped up the blood that now seeped onto the marble floor. I started to pull her down the steps cursing, she was heavy. After a few more tense moments of struggling with the corpse, I stuffed her into a trash bin and went on my merry way to collect my pay.  
  
**~~**~~ Whoo! That was fun! Well, Like it? Hate it? R+R! FWI, Arideal is pronounced "Air-I-dell".  
  
This story ©Wednesday Morning, 2002 


	2. The Growling Armchair

Once again, hello. I understand that there is some confusion about taxis, elves, and drugs being in the same world, but that will all be explained in this chapter. Oh yeah, I can't seem to remove the setting that only allows registered authors to submit reviews, so if anyone can help me with that little problem, please do so through the review page.  
  
Peace, love, and other such concepts, W.M.  
  
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The next night I stared absently into the fire in my room at the community building. I love fire, the way it dances this way and that and leads you into a trance. My peaceful thoughts were interrupted by a sudden blast of sound from the next room. It was my brother, Aries, playing "Play that funky music white boy." I reluctantly got up off the threadbare settee' on which I was sitting and banged on the wall.  
  
"Keep it down, dammit!" I shouted through the wall. I honestly don't mind Funk, except when it is being played so loud it makes me wish that I had been alive when all the sensible elves had crossed into that heaven of a world the elders speak of all the time.  
  
I sat back down on the settee' (Aries had turned his music down), and slipped back into thought.  
  
I was born in 746 A.D, long after the time of "Middle-Earth" as it was called, and I had grown up hearing stories of the ancient elves that lived there. I was also told that when most of the elves sailed over the sea to some blissful land, a few stayed behind, living in small communities, marrying only other elves, so that there was a small, but thriving, elven community living secretly among the humans. The community I lived in was a network of small colonies scattered throughout the Seattle area.  
  
My thoughts were jarred, again, when Aries banged on my door and entered without waiting for a reply, I promptly tossed a pillow at him.  
  
"You know", he said teasingly, "Elven maidens are supposed to be sweet tempered and slow to anger."  
  
"Screw you", I shot back at him "I can be bitchy if I damn well please." Aries adapted such an overdone look of shock on his face that I couldn't help but smile a little. He sat down on the settee (on my foot). I pushed him off, and so began our childish game that mostly consisted of a lot of mock punching.  
  
Our game finally ended when I crawled back onto the settee' and he sat down on the floor facing me.  
  
"What's that?" He asked, suddenly somber. He had spotted the blood on my hands. I still hadn't washed it off.  
  
"Nothing" I said, but I can't lie to him worth shit, he knows me too well. Aries took my hand quickly and frowned up at me.  
  
"You know you shouldn't be doing this, it's really dangerous"  
  
"Oh, to hell with you, stop being over-protective"  
  
"It's in the job description of 'older brother'"  
  
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." I hated him when he did this.  
  
"I wish you wouldn't, you could get caught. If you must continue, use a gun or something a little less time consuming and risky than those knives" his gaze fell on a large cabinet in the back corner of the room, where I kept my weapons.  
  
"Oh so now you're trying to control my methods?" I retorted hotly.  
  
"Ooh, someone's getting her knickers in a knot" he snapped back at me. "I just want to make sure you're always safe"  
  
If there's anything I dislike more than Barbie dolls, it's being coddled.  
  
"Out." I hissed at him "Get out. Now." He sighed and left, and heard him blasting his music again. I got up, put on my coat, and then walked over to my knife cabinet. Using the key that hung around my neck, I unlocked it and chose a crooked boot knife. I strapped the sheath and knife to my ankle and pulled my black boots on. I left my room and headed for the Growling Armchair.  
  
*** The Growling Armchair was a small pub that I considered my safe haven, I went there whenever I felt I need a drink or cope with something.  
  
I downed my second shot-glass of Irish Cream and called for another.  
  
"Hey there baby" came a slurred voice to my left  
  
"Hello Tommy" I said without looking at him. Tommy was a frat-house boy and seemed to be constantly drunk, and I had the bad fortune of getting hit on whenever he was smashed.  
  
"Your daddy must be in jail-" He began, but I cut him off.  
  
"-Because he stole the stars and put them in my eyes. Tommy, I don't know how many times you've used that one on me, you should know by now that it's not gonna work. Now go away, you idiot drunkard." The bartender then handed me another Irish Cream.  
  
Tommy began to snake his arms around my waist "Now come on Ari-" It was then did I douse him with my drink and hit him with such a force that he went flying off his barstool.  
  
"You bitch!" He screeched.  
  
"Aww, what's wrong Tommy? Was that a turn off?" I said feeling very witty. I have to admit I was feeling a bit tipsy at the time. Tommy began to charge me, but I slid off my stool and jumped out of the way just in time, making him hit the bar, sending people and glasses everywhere.  
  
He got up, now look both very angry and quite dazed. I pulled my knife out of my boot, as he began to charge me again. I slashed him across his cheek, marring his fine features. Seeing where this was heading I started to run for the door out, but there was a deafening 'bang', and I felt an intense pain in my back. I feel to the floor. The last thing I saw was people crowding around me, and Tommy with a gun before everything went dark.  
  
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I like cliffhangers. As before tell me what you think! 


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